Love Making
Sexual relations can foster union and harmony if a couple is
kind to each other throughout the day and also learns some
simple love-making techniques to create peace and satisfaction
in their sex life.
We can think of sexual relations as a balancing of the male and
female energies. The most satisfying lovemaking does not end in
sexual explosion. It ends in peace. For this kind of balance and
peace to arise, time is required. If intercourse lasts at least
half an hour, with deep, gentle penetration, a couple will grow
in love and peace.
Unfortunately it can be difficult for a man to delay ejaculation
for the length of time required to reach this state of loving
surrender. Unfulfilling sexual encounters will create tension,
even anger, in a once loving relationship. Tantric and Taoist
texts recommend that a man strengthen his prostate through
exercise. A stronger prostate will allow the man to delay, or
even avoid, ejaculation. The resulting longer intercourse will
allow the balancing of energies, fostering peace and love in the
relationship.
The prostate is a few inches back from the anus. When a man
tightens and relaxes his anus, he automatically massages and
strengthens his prostate. (This is called Kegel’s exercise.) A
man can do this exercise at any time, day, or night, to
strengthen his prostate. He can also do the exercise during
sexual relations. During sexual relations the exercise causes
increased circulation to the prostate, which causes the prostate
to partially empty semen into the man’s own blood stream. The
partial emptying of the prostate takes away the urgency to
ejaculate, and allows intercourse to continue. The exercise can
be repeated every so often during intercourse as long as the
couple desires to continue relations.
If a man wishes to avoid ejaculation completely, he can do so
without harm if he does Kegel’s exercise after intercourse,
which empties the prostate into the blood stream and eliminates
the erection. In this way his love-making is more harmonious and
his physical and emotional energy are conserved. For more
information on this topic, see The Tao of Sexology, by Dr.
Stephen Chang.
Important: Even if a man learns to avoid ejaculation, pregnancy
is possible. The man’s arousal fluid, called Cowper’s fluid,
contains sperm. Cowper’s fluid leaks out of the penis during
sexual arousal. In addition, seminal fluid, containing millions
of sperm, may leak out of the penis during sexual arousal but
before ejaculation. For these reasons, pregnancy is possible
with no ejaculation. Even with no penetration, the microscopic
sperm can swim in the woman’s fertile-type mucus, into her
vagina and up to her fallopian tubes. Therefore, during the
fertile time, pregnancy is possible with only genital contact
(touching of the penis near the vagina.)